Tal's birthday

Today my nephew Clay 6 years old. Happy Birthday Clay!!! Thank you Lord for him.
Today my brother would have been 38 years old. Thank you Lord for the years we had with him. He died almost 12 years ago.
I thought that I would never be able to smile again but God heals. Time can't heal only God does! If you don't turn your sorrow over to God then you will never heal, 12 years or 20 years the hurt will still linger only it will turn into bitterness and anger. You will then be in bondage which is worse then sorrow because you can't go forward. The enemy uses time to hide all your true feelings and just when you think you have made progress it will return with full force. So exactly the saying "time heals" is a lie that the satan uses to keep us in bondage.
Being healed by God isn't easy but it does have a positive outcome. God will hold you in His palm as you cry and bring the sunshine just when it seems you can't see your way out of the darkness. The key is to give Him our pain willingly so He can heal us. It won't be overnight but it will happen if we willingly surrender to God. Give my pain to God was tough for me because I was enjoying it. I knew exactly what to do to reduce my self to tears and believe it or not I actually looked forward to it. It was an addiction. Satan was using me to his benefit. I was mad at God and acting out in several rebellious ways. I had left our home church, since that was the last place I saw him alive, and was church hoping. I finally ended up attending a huge church so I could just go when I felt like it. I shudder to think about how my actions hurt God. He so wanted to comfort me but I had put up a wall between us. Now God expects us to question the terrible things that happen in our lives but we have to accept that He knows best. One day God showed me that it was time to put my season of grief behind me and to move on with life. That doesn't mean that I don't still have sad times but I can look forward to the holiday season with joy in my heart instead of absolute dread. Thanks be to God Almighty, our Comforter and Strength.

Blessings

As I am sitting here at my desk I feel an overwhelming urge to PRAISE THE LORD!!!
I am so blessed to have access to such godly women, in my personal life, on the internet and in bible studies. I am feeling anxious about the future but God keeps telling me to settle down and enjoy the ride which is out on the front of the boat which you can read about in an earlier blog.
I don't really see how we will make it but I know we will, by the GRACE OF GOD. I have to remember how powerful God is and to let HIM do HIS Work. I have always tried to do it my way and boy what a mess.
Well, have to go rescue my little Jackie Russell from some cobwebs that are driving her crazy.

CARICH

Not by accident

I have been wondering if I am suppose to be in the "Breaking Free' bible study until yesterday when God spoke to me so strongly through His Word. There it was in black and white, what I know God has been trying to tell me for the last 4 weeks. I am still trying to deal with His instructions to basically clean up my junk and act like His Child instead of a spoiled earthly child.
Now I can't really say that I am enjoying the chastisment but it is necessary, so necessary. I haven't been showing any of God's glory lately. I have let satan use me to fulfill his purpose and keep me bondage. Well, my wonderful Lord has given me the key. I am out of chains and I am going to throw them so far away that I won't hear them even rattle.

Thank Lord Jesus,
You came to set me free
You died to let me live
I won't let satan take away
all the freedom your blood
paid for on the cross.

Amen

Life Song--in writing

It is Saturday night and as I finish up the bulletins for tomorrow's service
I just realized that the verse on the front of this week's is exactly what my life song is:

Saved By Grace
When I stood
condemned to death
He took my place....
Loved and forgiven,
back with the living
I'm just a sinner
Saved by grace.


Words by William J. Gaither, Gloria Gaither and Mitch Humphries

Stand up

Well, as I drove around this afternoon from one errand to another I so proudly (notice the pride) declared to God that I was a woman of faith and I was going to ride out the storm, holding on until it was over. Well as we know, when we start making declarations to God just watch out! He told me to get out the bottom of the boat, stand up and face the storm. Now that is not what I thought I would hear from Him. I told God "I am not that strong, I will fall backwards" God said"I will be the pole holding you up" Well, I am not sure what exactly God means by telling me to stand up but I am sure He will show me. So I am going to be standing up at the front of boat until the storm passes over. I guess I will have a first hand look if we are heading for a ice burg. Of course I will be the first to see the sunrise too. I will be glad when the clouds are gone and we have clear sailing before us. I know I will have the best view to see how God is in control of my life. If I am in the bottom of the boat with a blanket over my head then I will miss God's spectacular rescue mission.
So if I look kinda wet then just know that I am at the front where I can get the spray for the boat all over me and that I am looking forward to the distant shore.

Until next time

Following my heart

Tonight as I headed home from my bible study I felt this oppressive weight settle on me like a wet sheet. I had a splitting headache and everything felt so surreal. I had had a crazy day, running in circles and not accomplishing anything. I can usually shake this feeling but I found myself not able to concentrate in bible study. I usually love to hear Beth, I just connect with her as she lets God use her to spread his message.
Anyway, I got in my car, drove out of town and into the countryside. I was trying to connect with God but not having much luck at pushing the world away when I looked up and there it was, my heart, right there where it ususally is, out on the road in front of me.
Now before you think I have lost my mind remember how about a year ago I left church and as I made my way home I realized that my lights where making a perfect heart on the road in front of me. Now on that night I thought "this ain't going to be good". I figured my time was up, I mean it hadn't been there before, it just appeared. I hadn't had my lights adjusted since my wreck in May 2006 and this was January of 2007. Anyway, I made it home and decided not to say anything about it but every time I got in the car there it was, a heart shape on the road whenever my lights were on dim. I finally go the nerve up to ask Rod if he saw it and low and behold he saw it too. We still don't have a explanation for it but it is still there and I don't really pay much attention to it until tonight. I just followed it on down the road and felt this peaceful feeling come over me. I know that God is using that heart to let me know I am following Him. I am not venturing in to unknown territory, He is the guide, His been there before. I don't have a clue where we are going but He is always out there just waiting for me to need Him to lead me in the dark (and I am in the dark alot). He knows where we are going and He doesn't need mapquest. He is the ultimate mapquest. He knows the shortest way to get there and how to get pass the mountains and over the rivers.
God uses the simpliest things to bring me up short. He is such a people person, He is the greatest HR person, he know what we need to get our job done. I needed to see a phyiscal reminder that He loves me and everything will be ok. I never know when my heart might leave me so I will enjoy every time I drive after dark.
Thank you Dear Lord for your glowing heart in my life. Amen

Cindi